Before finally getting married and settling down with someone, there are a few things a person should do first. There should be a few questions both spouses should ask themselves, like “Should we sign a prenup?” or, “What are the most important elements to a successful marriage?” Keep in mind- this article is not made to scare or to stop anyone from marriage, but in fact, the opposite. Pride Legal is here to help all potential spouses have a happy marriage that lasts a lifetime, and here are the questions you need to know before deciding on marriage.
Speak to a Family Law attorney about the marriage
The first step before finalizing the marriage should be a meeting with a family law attorney. An experienced family law attorney would be able to help a spouse with a multitude of problems and questions. It’s a good idea to ask the attorney if a prenuptial agreement would be a good idea for the marriage, and if so, the attorney would be able to draft the prenuptial agreement. The attorney would be able to help create a financial plan to help the marriage. Many marriages have tension over money, so it’s best to have a setlist of financial goals in a marriage, and some help from an attorney to allow the couple to reach their goal.
The most important aspect an attorney is able to help in is explaining to the client their local marriage and divorce laws. Most people don’t realize or don’t pay attention to their state’s laws when it comes to marriage, so if the unlucky happens and the marriage ends in divorce, both spouses are in for a surprise about the laws. For example, most couples believe that although they are married, if they have 2 separate bank accounts with separate credit cards, both spouses will be responsible for each other’s card purchases. It doesn’t matter that the accounts were separate- the court will see that the purchases were made during the time of marriage, so both spouses will be on the hook for any debts and further payments. The most common divorce law couples in California recognize is that California is a 50/50 split state. However, there are several questions that arise out of this that only a family law attorney would be able to answer. A quick example would be what would happen if a spouse had to refinance the mortgage for a home using community assets? How would this equation be made to see how much would be split and what would be owed? Speak with an attorney to find out the answers to complex questions such as these.
Talk to someone in a successful marriage or a marriage counselor
Speaking to someone who is in a successful marriage could equate to a night and day difference in the marriage. Some questions that should be asked are:
-How and when did you know and decide when to have children?
-What is the most important element of marriage in your mind?
-What’s the best way to resolve conflicts with your spouse?
-How is the money handled? Do you have separate accounts or joint accounts?
-Has a prenuptial agreement been signed? Is it a good idea to get one, or even ask for one?
-How do you resolve money issues?
-Did you ask for a prenup when deciding on marriage?
-Do you have a good relationship with the in-laws? Does it matter?
-Were there any rules in place for the marriage? Were they ever broken?
-Did you take any classes or ever go to therapy with your spouse?
By asking questions such as these, a marriage has the best chance of success. By being able to ask questions from a person in a successful marriage, another person could take and extract their ideas and implement them as their own.
Talk to someone in a failing marriage
It’s always best to get answers from both sides of the spectrum before coming to a decision. Failure allows one to learn from the mistakes and to do everything they can to avoid that problem again. This is why it’s important to learn from a failed marriage so that one could better themselves and not repeat what had failed. Some questions could include:
-What are some signs of a failing marriage?
-Were you scared before you finalized your marriage, if so, why?
-What would you have changed? What would you have done differently?
-Were money issues discussed? Were they discussed before or after the marriage?
-Did you ask for a prenup when deciding on marriage?
-How did you deal with conflicts?
-What was the most common source of argument? Why?
-Did you ever try to save the marriage? What was the final straw?
-What were your feelings about your ex-spouse before getting married to them? What started the problems?
-What do you think about now when deciding on marriage?
Questions like these are important to ask. Once a person hears how a marriage failed and which steps had been taken to lead to the failed marriage, the other person could learn from the mistakes. By being able to hear from a failed marriage, one could take the mistakes and grow from them, allowing the person to create better ideas for themselves. Of course, no two relationships are the same, so it’s best to ask questions that could relate more to specific circumstances.
Contact Pride Legal
If you or a loved one has been looking for a family law attorney, we invite you to contact us at Pride Legal for legal counseling or any further questions. To protect your rights, hire someone who understands them.
